A Personal Reflection On Surrender
I used to believe surrender was giving up- something passive, weak, reserved for those who’d run out of options. But somewhere between the agony of trying to control everything and the quiet pull of something deeper, I began to realise that while control had become my shield, it was also my prison. So used to being in control of “life” as I knew it, I fought long and hard to stay in control, but exhaustion got the better of me. It was then I realised that surrender is not a retreat, but an invitation.
I didn’t choose surrender. Rather, through unpredictable twists, emotional storms, and moments of quiet fatigue and tears, it chose me. Surrender showed up like a whisper: ‘You don’t have to figure it all out right now. Just be here. Just trust.’And slowly, I did.
What Spiritual Surrender Actually Means
In a spiritual context, surrender is not about giving up or becoming passive. It means accepting life on life’s terms and letting go of the need to force a particular outcome. It is choosing to trust something larger than your own will. It is the difference between white-knuckling your way through life and learning to move with what is actually arising.
It took me a very long time to learn to surrender. But my constant need to control practically every situation in my life exhausted me. So slowly, I began to let go and let be, especially in situations or with people I couldn't control. It came from small moments rather than one dramatic turning point. Pausing before reacting. Listening without rushing to defend. Accepting that some questions do not have immediate answers and that sitting with uncertainty is not the same as failing.
Surrender is not the absence of effort or intention. It is effort without desperation. It is intention without attachment to a fixed result. And it is, I have found, one of the most demanding practices, precisely because it requires you to release what you cannot control while staying fully engaged with what you can.
What Surrender Feels Like in Practice
It does not always feel graceful. Sometimes it stings. There is grief in releasing a version of events you had planned for. There is discomfort in accepting that things are unfolding differently from what you expected.
But beneath that discomfort, something else often shows up: A sense of relief that you no longer need to carry a burden that was never yours to carry. For me, surrender is made of small, daily choices:
Pausing instead of reacting immediately
Listening without preparing your defense
Accepting mystery without demanding certainty
Letting go of a resentment, not because someone earned it, but because holding it costs too much
None of these are passive. Each one requires a conscious decision to stop pushing and start receiving. Over time, those decisions accumulate into something that begins to feel like a different way of moving through life.
Surrender Does Not Mean Abandoning Choice
One thing I have had to sit with is the question of free will. Does surrendering mean you stop making decisions? Does it mean you simply accept whatever happens without any agency?
In my experience, no. Surrender does not erase choice. It changes the quality of it. It means choosing from a deeper place, a place where fear is not running the show, where the ego does not need to prove itself, and where decisions can come from something steadier than anxiety or habit.
It is still me making the choices. But with more openness, more willingness to be surprised, and more trust that I do not need to have every answer in advance to take the next step.
My Quiet Practice
I am human, and I still fall into bouts of fear and control. Years of practice in meditation, mindfulness, and energy healing have not made me immune to that. What they have done is give me a quicker route back to something more open.
Sitting with a question that has no immediate answer has a particular quality. Not pushing it away, not forcing a resolution, just letting it be present. I have had to learn, slowly and imperfectly, to make peace with the unknown. To sit with discomfort rather than flee from it. To recognise when the urge to control is rising and to pause before acting from that place.
That pause is where the practice actually lives. Not in the moments when surrender feels natural and easy, but in the ones where every part of me wants to reach for certainty and control. Learning to notice that impulse without immediately acting on it has been one of the quieter but more significant shifts in how I move through my days.
Meditation has been central to that. So has mindfulness in small, ordinary moments, noticing the grip, noticing the resistance, and choosing, where I can, to soften rather than brace.
Surrender taught me that healing begins not with force, but with the flow. That transformation is not something we push into existence. It is something we allow. And allowing, it turns out, is its own kind of practice.
How Reiki Supported Me to Surrender
Intuitive Reiki has been a meaningful part of how I have learned to surrender in my own body and practice. There is something about lying still, allowing the healing energy to move without directing it, that teaches you something about letting go at a level words cannot quite reach.
Within my understanding and practice of Reiki, the intention is not to control where the energy goes, but to remain present and allow the experience to unfold. As a practitioner, my role is to hold the space, not to direct the outcome. That orientation, being fully present and fully releasing at the same time, is surrender in one of its most practical forms.
For me, Reiki creates a space where I can stop trying to manage everything and simply receive. Rather than forcing an emotional or energetic shift, I can become still enough to notice what I may have been holding onto and allow myself to soften around it. In my experience, the practice is not about having Reiki do the releasing for you. Instead, the stillness of the experience can offer space to notice, soften, and let go in your own way.
Sound Healing can offer another opportunity to practise this kind of receptivity. At Light Divine, instruments such as singing bowls and other sound tools are used as part of the Sound Healing experience. For me, simply lying down, listening, and allowing the experience to unfold reflects the same principle of surrender: less forcing, more receiving.
Both Reiki and Sound Healing are complementary wellbeing practices, and experiences vary from person to person. No specific outcome can be guaranteed. They are not a replacement for medical care. If you are receiving medical treatment or have a specific health concern, please speak with your doctor or a qualified healthcare professional before using any complementary therapy.
If You Are in a Season of Resistance
Maybe you are in a place where control is not working the way it used to. Where you are exhausted from holding everything together, or where life is asking you to let go of something you are not sure you are ready to release.
I understand that place. And one thing I have learned is that you do not have to have everything figured out before you begin. Surrender does not require certainty. It requires a willingness to be open, even slightly, to something beyond what you can currently see.
Sometimes, that willingness is simply where the practice begins.
If you are in Perth or Western Australia and feel drawn to explore what a supported space for this kind of inner work might look like, I would be glad to hear from you. You are welcome to explore Intuitive Reiki or Sound Healing at Light Divine in City Beach. Both practices offer a quiet, supportive space to pause, reflect, and simply receive.
Frequently Asked Questions
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In a spiritual context, surrender means releasing the need to force or control a particular outcome, and choosing instead to trust a deeper process. It is not about giving up or becoming passive. It is about letting go of fear-based resistance and opening to what is genuinely arising. Although surrender can sound passive, in practice it can ask a great deal of us because it involves staying present while releasing the need to control the outcome.
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No. Giving up is withdrawing effort and care. Surrender is releasing attachment to a fixed outcome while remaining fully engaged with your life. It is the difference between stopping and softening. You can be completely committed to your healing, your growth, and your relationships while also surrendering the need for things to look exactly as you had planned.
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Paradoxically, surrender tends to become more accessible when we stop trying to force it and simply notice what is present. Small practices help: pausing before reacting, breathing through discomfort rather than moving away from it, and allowing yourself to sit with uncertainty without immediately trying to resolve it. Practices such as meditation, Reiki, and Sound Healing may also offer quiet, reflective spaces in which to practise this kind of letting go.
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From an energy healing perspective, Reiki works with energy rather than instruction or will. In a session, you are invited to lie still and receive without directing or managing the experience. That orientation of open receptivity is itself a form of surrender. Some people use Reiki as a supportive practice for relaxation, reflection, and letting go, and find it a helpful complement to other mindfulness or spiritual practices.
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From a spiritual perspective, surrender can offer a way of relating differently to uncertainty by releasing the need to control every outcome. Practices such as meditation, Reiki, and Sound Healing may also provide a quiet space for reflection and relaxation. These practices are complementary and individual experiences vary. They are not substitutes for medical, psychological, or other professional healthcare. If you are experiencing significant or persistent anxiety or distress, please speak with a qualified healthcare professional.
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No. While surrender is often discussed in spiritual contexts, the underlying practice is available to anyone. At its core, it simply means releasing the grip of resistance and becoming more open to what is actually happening. You do not need a particular belief system. An honest willingness to let go is enough.
Taking the Next Step
Healing, growth, and genuine change often begin not with more effort, but with a willingness to release. If that resonates with where you are right now, feel free to reach out before booking if you have questions.
You do not need to have everything figured out before you begin. Sometimes, letting go starts simply with being present with what is.
Welcome to Light Divine
Eileen Cullen, Intuitive Reiki Master
Born into a spiritual family in Hawaii, Eileen grew up around energy healing, psychic mediumship and channeling. After a thirty year career in law, she returned to spiritual practice and now works from her studio in City Beach, Perth.
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